Please see below for a comment I received regarding yesterday’s post:
“It is extremely hard for overweight people to look in the mirror. I have not had mirrors in my house for years. I finally put one 3 years ago, it is a medium size mirror which only allows you to look at your top body parts. By not looking at myself, I have put myself in total denial, but it was the only way to bear with my emotional sufferings. And even though a lot of Eastern beliefs identify our bodies as temporary vests, we still create one whole. In order to make a progress in eating it is to accept the way we look, however, it seems unbearable and extremely painful to live with what our bodies are like for today.”
This is not an uncommon reaction to mirror work and I know the pain in this comment because I have endured it myself. Mirror work is a paradox. On one hand, it is the first step in seeing our bodies for what they really are which is the only way to acceptance. On the other hand, we are more than our physical bodies meaning our self worth isn’t defined by our exterior but what exists in our soul so why put stake in looking at the shell? Hence, there is a very delicate balance here.
I suggest that the pain resulting from mirror work is not because we hate our bodies but because we are hurting in other areas of our life. Our body is the scapegoat. If our lives were fulfilled by healthy relationships, fulfilled work experiences and a peaceful mind, heart and soul, our weight will stabilize to its natural state. I know, this sounds crazy and it’s a rumor until you experience it.
Achieving this sense of peace doesn’t happen overnight and takes practice (I can help you through coaching!) so, in the meantime, feel the pain (don’t binge about it) and do your best to accept the reality. Be ferocious in defending yourself against those hateful thoughts about your body because they are not true despite what we have been conditioned to believe. Think about when you’ve been at a goal weight – were your thoughts different? Were they nicer or were you still hating on your body because your thighs were too jiggly or your stomach stuck out too much?
The idea here is to stop living in a constant state of hate, accept what is and make peace with it. I’m not gonna lie, there will be pain involved in this process but it is temporary and more easily endured than living in a constant state of hate, even when you hit the “perfect” weight.
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