Mindfulness

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I became very interested in Buddhism when I began to see a therapist who uses mindfulness as one strategy to treat me and my Binge-Eating Disorder.  Thanks to her, I practice mindfulness meditation once a day and mindfulness throughout the day which is at the heart of Buddha’s teachings.

Thich Nhat Hanh is a Vietnamese Buddhist monk who writes, “When we are mindful, touching deeply the present moment, the fruits are always understanding, acceptance, love, and the desire to relieve suffering and bring joy.”  

Since I started practicing mindfulness (and when I remember to focus on the present moment!), I find myself less stressed out, less annoyed and more tolerant.  Focusing on the present moment allows for thoughtful processing of situations instead of knee jerk reactions causing regretful behavior.  As with most things, I work at this everyday but it’s not a burden, it’s my blessing.  Enjoy, live and love today!

Fear Some…What?

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Fear…it’s such a strong emotion yet is sometimes so elusive that it’s difficult to detect within ourselves.  I don’t consider myself a fearful person, after all, I’ve traveled the world by myself, moved across the country (without a job!) and will try almost anything once.  But, through my transformation, I have discovered that my fears are intangible.  They are about allowing myself to capture true joy, nourishment, peace and happiness.  I hold back from smiling as big as I want and talk myself out of taking actions that are good for me.

If the first step is identifying the emotions and reason(s) behind them, I’m well on my way to becoming fearless in all ways tangible and intangible!

Fasting

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I had to fast for a medical test the other day which turned out to be an interesting experiment.  Not being able to eat all day really brought out my eating disorder – I wanted to eat the whole house and was planning the binge food I was going to buy when I could eat.  You see, every restriction throws a binge-eater into a binge and this was no exception.  However, I didn’t act upon my planned binge.  I have noticed that the anticipation of the binge is more powerful for me than the actual activity of the binge.  Is the anticipation a result of habit or do I really have the emotional and physical urge?

Since I’ve been binge-free since April 2013.  I still plan binges but, interestingly enough, don’t act upon them when the time comes.  I’m not sure why this is but I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth!  Maybe when the time comes for the binge, my body wisdom guides me to nourish instead of gorge.

When Doves Cry

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I have used Dove soap for years and years and years and feel “icky” if I use another brand!  Not only do I love the soap, I love their mission which is to promote self-esteem among girls.  They have reached 11 million girls so far and have great tools on their website to help parents guide their daughters to creating healthy self-esteem and their own definition of real beauty.  I think this is an amazing mission and hope you’ll check out their website:

http://www.dove.us/Our-Mission/Girls-Self-Esteem/default.aspx

 

Treatment – Con’t

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After some deep soul-searching, I decided I needed to leave my job.  So, I planned and plotted and gave a resignation notice after a big project was completed at work which just happened to coincide with the end of my apartment lease.  Talk about great timing, this was a sign that I was making the right decision!  At this point, I was 6 months post-treatment although still seeing a therapist and going to group therapy each week.

I packed up my apartment and Tai Baby (he was so ready – see below!) and I moved in with my mom and step-dad with the dream of opening a center to treat people with Binge-Eating Disorder and Obesity.  And so….LifeStrides was born!

TB

 

 

 

Practice Makes Imperfect

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The word practice means “to do something again and again in order to become better at it.”  I don’t think practice makes perfect, I think practice makes imperfect.

I practice meditation each day and yoga occasionally.  I practice self-love multiple times a day because that is how many times I start to self-ridicule.  Each time I fall into saying something mean about myself to myself, I practice being nicer.  Sometimes it works and I prevent a complete meltdown and sometimes it doesn’t work and I walk around in a self-induced melancholy.  I realize that my “practice” has helped me become better at self-love but it’s still imperfect and that is good enough.  🙂

Perfectly Flawed

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I work with an AMAZING life coach who says we are all tragically flawed;  I think we are all perfectly flawed.  Our flaws have been created for a very specific purpose and are our greatest teachers.  They guide us to exactly where we need be to seek spiritual growth, find our passion and live more joyously.  They are perfect and are to be recognized for their brilliance.  We all have them and so they connect us to each other.

I have been learning from mine and trying to embrace them and have found a sense of peace in doing so.  I hope you all do the same.

To find our more about my AMAZING life coach, please visit readingswithnancy.com

Psychosis

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I’ve had many psychic readings over the years (hey, don’t judge!) and was speaking about one in particular last night.  The person to whom I was speaking said that the intuitive we had both seen was extremely accurate but I disagreed.  The only thing I remember from that reading was that she predicted I would become a size 6 (I was on Weight Watchers at the time).  Well, I never made it to a size 6.  This struck me because it spoke to my state of mind for many, many years – that I was constantly focused on my weight.  I realize now that I don’t want that to be my sole focus anymore.  As with so many of my blog entries….this is easier said than done.

Law of Attraction

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Does how we treat ourselves affect the way others treat us?  If one neglects themselves, does that give silent permission to others to neglect us as well?  If we don’t trust ourselves, does that mean we attract those who are untrustworthy?  Is that what the law of attraction tells us?