Greetings from Boulder, Colorado! The conference has been amazing so far with a lot of inspiring stories of those who have recently become Eating Psychology Coaches. There was also a lot of talk about the future of nutrition which is uncertain at the moment. Currently, the field is in chaos. The good news is that there is usually a period of chaos before a breakthrough. In the meantime, think about your own experience with deciding what to eat. How confusing is it? What research is believable? There is a lot of bad and skewed research and also great research but most is conflicting. The bottom line is to let your life, your values, your intuition and body wisdom drive what you eat. There is no easy answer. Eating is as personal and unique as your own individual style of dress. Get out there, explore and decide for yourself the best way to eat based on what TRULY nourishes you and feels good. Stay tuned for more from Boulder tomorrow!
I’m off to Boulder, Colorado today to attend an Eating Psychology conference and will definitely pass along cool, interesting and innovative stuff that I learn. I will also catch up with some great friends I made when I lived in Denver. I hope you have as great a weekend planned as I do!
In last week’s post, I mentioned that when I left my treatment center, I felt abandoned with no support in the next phase of my eating disorder. It was a terrible feeling and I found myself floundering and falling back into binge behavior although not at pre-treatment intensity. Even though I was set up with a new therapist and nutritionist, their intervention was ineffective because they didn’t know me or how far I’d progressed through treatment.
I wished I had someone who experienced these issues, could guide me through the daily challenges of re-entering life, provide me with real strategies to deal with social situations, shopping and meal-planning, apply and reinforce what was learned in treatment and help figure out how to de-trigger my life. Someone I could turn to if I was flipping out and needed to be “talked in from the ledge” in a hurry.
I believe that seeing a licensed therapist post-treatment is essential to deal with trauma and deep psychological issues but they aren’t the appropriate professional to serve in the “nitty gritty” support role I describe above. Most licensed therapists don’t understand binge-eating or suggest harmful strategies that “undo” all the valuable lessons learned in treatment. Do you realize how confusing, detrimental and disappointing that is to a patient who wants nothing more than to progress and become healthy?
That’s why I created LifeStrides and became a Certified Eating Psychology Counselor – I’ve been there AND I have the education to guide others. LifeStrides is designed to fill this gap, to provide the lifeline, to make the transition to daily life easier, fun and joyful…even with an eating disorder! Being discharged from treatment is a momentous occasion to be celebrated, not something to be feared or dreaded.
My vision for the future of Binge-Eating Disorder treatment is to include this “gap” counseling as standard to ensure continuity of care thereby giving patients adequate support to create and experience their own unique version of transformation.
Over the last few days, I have been thinking very negative thoughts about myself, my transformation and my weight. Part of this is hormonal but part of it is telling me something. The hard part is listening to the symptoms to figure out what. This is what those in recovery from an eating disorder mean when they say the path of recovery/transformation is not linear, it twists and turns and switches back on itself. I’m in switch back mode. My thoughts are reverting to those that are self-destructive and reinforce my belief that “I’m not good enough.” Most of the time, these thoughts are almost muted in my brain but, sometimes, like now, they become louder. The trick is to acknowledge them, know that they are temporary and toxic and that they are no longer my truth. My truth is that I AM transforming, I AM doing good things for my body, mind and spirit, I AM the only one who can approve of myself and make things OK just the way they are. I figured out that this is what my symptoms are telling me – they are reminding me that I am transforming and breaking out of my cocoon which is sometimes painful but worth every second.
I’m having a photo session today to get a professional head shot taken. As you can imagine, it has produced a little anxiety and negative body image thoughts. Figuring out what to wear was challenging – I want to look professional but not stuffy, most of my clothing is dark because it hides my wobbly bits but I don’t want to look monochromatic. Then there’s the whole looking in the mirror a million times to figure out what looks good which is hard because I practice mirror avoidance – often. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I hate looking at photos of myself. Yikes!
As I’m writing this, I see a lot of negative emotions and eating disordered thoughts but then realized that mostly every woman has these same insecurities. Maybe they’re not eating disordered thoughts but womanly thoughts. Too bad we feel the need to beat ourselves up so much. Regardless, I’m going to suck it up, show up to the shoot, have a good time, act as though I know I look great and hope the photographer can work miracles…minus the photo shop!
Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful moms out there either by blood or circumstance!
A special thanks to my mom who staged the intervention that saved me from my Binge-Eating Disorder. It hasn’t been an easy road, there have been many bumps, twists and turns but also smooth and happy trails. I couldn’t have undergone this transformation without my mom’s unconditional love and undying support and for I am eternally grateful for her.
Thank you, Mom, for who you are and how you love and support me. I love you.
Rebecca M. Puhl, PhD of the Yale Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity recently published an article entitled “Stigma as a (Dis)incentive for Weight Loss and Healthy Lifestyle Behaviors” addressing if weight stigmas and fat shaming are effective methods of enticing people to lose weight. The evidence suggests that the answer is no. Please see below for excerpts from the article:
“In turn, a culture of blame has been cultivated — with common perceptions that weight stigma is justifiable,[15] and perhaps even necessary, to motivate people with obesity to become healthier and lose weight. To this end, some scholars have proposed that stigmatization is an appropriate strategy to address obesity.”[16]
“…the issue of whether stigma might serve as a tool to facilitate improved health and weight-loss outcomes is an empirical question and one that, until the past decade, had not really been tested. There is already considerable evidence on the adverse psychological, social, and economic outcomes of weight stigmatization,[8,17,18] but now a new and growing knowledge base of evidence has examined implications of obesity stigma specifically for health behaviors, health indices, and weight loss.”
“Taken together, the emerging evidence indicates that obesity stigma contributes to unhealthy behaviors, interferes with weight-loss efforts, and reinforces obesity. There is no indication that obesity stigma would be effective as a public health tool to incentivize weight loss.”
While I’m glad this article unequivocally eliminates fat shaming as an effective motivator for weight loss, I’m appalled that this strategy was proposed in the first place. I am saddened that there are people in this world who think it’s even remotely OK to suggest a strategy based on hate and bullying to combat obesity (or anything else). Having been obese, I can attest to the fact that the self-imposed shame regarding my weight was painful enough without adding shame from others. My shame didn’t serve as a motivator, it propelled me further into despair, depression and my binge-eating disorder.
It’s unfortunate that this strategy wasn’t immediately discredited but I’m grateful that Dr. Puhl published this article so there’s no doubt that fat shaming is ineffective.
I was an amazing actress throughout my eating disorder because no one knew how much I was suffering inside and just how tortured I was. I’m sure that, at the height of my disorder just before “The Intervention”, people close to me knew something wasn’t quite right because my suffering was manifesting itself as extra weight. I think most just thought I had a diet and exercise or will power problem instead of a mental illness.
If your loved ones or friends are pulling away from you, take notice. It depends on your relationship with the person but it may be worth it to GENTLY offer some type of lifeline that will show you care but not push them away. Here’s an important hint: don’t talk about the weight! It could be as simple as providing them a “safe place” where they can be themselves and know they are loved unconditionally. If you suspect something is wrong, it probably is. Get professional advice and guidance if you’re unsure of what to do. You and your loved one will be glad you did.
Are you in this situation and need some advice? I’m happy to help, please contact me here.
I believe that eating disorder symptoms and triggers are telling a story that needs to be understood, embraced and enjoyed because there is a deeper meaning in them just waiting to be discovered. That seems a little oxymoronic…how can we enjoy or appreciate an eating disorder? The answer is that the recovery from and ensuing transformation that an eating disorder provokes can help uncover one’s soul’s purpose, identify underlying emotions that aren’t being acknowledged, unearth past traumas to be processed or prompt a closer look at how one is living their life. In my case, I found my soul’s purpose, learned how to identify and deal with emotions and realized that aspects of my life had to change in order for me to become physically and emotionally healthy. I guess I would say that I’m happy about my eating disorder but only because it’s led me to where I am today despite the torture and pain I endured. There’s good and bad to everything, right? Right.
