Over the last few days, I have been thinking very negative thoughts about myself, my transformation and my weight.  Part of this is hormonal but part of it is telling me something.  The hard part is listening to the symptoms to figure out what.  This is what those in recovery from an eating disorder mean when they say the path of recovery/transformation is not linear, it twists and turns and switches back on itself.  I’m in switch back mode.  My thoughts are reverting to those that are self-destructive and reinforce my belief that “I’m not good enough.”  Most of the time, these thoughts are almost muted in my brain but, sometimes, like now, they become louder.  The trick is to acknowledge them, know that they are temporary and toxic and that they are no longer my truth.  My truth is that I AM transforming, I AM doing good things for my body, mind and spirit, I AM the only one who can approve of myself and make things OK just the way they are.  I figured out that this is what my symptoms are telling me – they are reminding me that I am transforming and breaking out of my cocoon which is sometimes painful but worth every second.