I have been processing the shock of the “number” this entire week and, thanks to my mom’s help, have devised a strategy that I think will help me feel better about this entire situation.

Reality is what it is and can’t be changed, the key to emotional peace is to choose how you think about that reality.  In my experience, when you get a strong dose of reality, you have a visceral reaction that can be good, bad or indifferent.  Once these feelings are acknowledged and dissipate, you can begin to process.  During processing, you must choose the perception you buy into, meaning you can focus on the positive or the negative thoughts surrounding that reality.  If the reality is painful, reinforcing the pain with negative thoughts serves no purpose other than to make you feel worse, thereby, perpetuating misery.  Who needs that?!?!

So, I will strive to focus on the positive:  how much I have accomplished since my diagnosis, my improved relationships and health status and my smaller jeans size.  This is the harder path but the only road I can see to achieving greater self-acceptance, understanding and love.  Something tells me this will be easier said than done.  🙂