I was having lunch with a great woman yesterday (and an even better friend!) who is really quite soulful so I’m not surprised that I came away from lunch with the subject of today’s blog post…Perfectionism.

We were talking about perfectionism and how I once strove for perfection in most things that I did.  I realized that my quest for perfection was the permission I needed to emotionally abuse myself because we all know that perfection is unattainable.  If I didn’t hit the mark 100% of the time or I used the wrong word in a meeting, I beat myself up because it wasn’t perfect.  It was the perfect excuse to reinforce my toxic belief that “I’m not good enough.”  Just another reason that being “perfectly imperfect” is the way to self-acceptance and joy.

The word practice means “to do something again and again in order to become better at it.”  I don’t think practice makes perfect, I think practice makes imperfect.

I practice meditation each day and yoga occasionally.  I practice self-love multiple times a day because that is how many times I start to self-ridicule.  Each time I fall into saying something mean about myself to myself, I practice being nicer.  Sometimes it works and I prevent a complete meltdown and sometimes it doesn’t work and I walk around in a self-induced melancholy.  I realize that my “practice” has helped me become better at self-love but it’s still imperfect and that is good enough.  🙂

I work with an AMAZING life coach who says we are all tragically flawed;  I think we are all perfectly flawed.  Our flaws have been created for a very specific purpose and are our greatest teachers.  They guide us to exactly where we need be to seek spiritual growth, find our passion and live more joyously.  They are perfect and are to be recognized for their brilliance.  We all have them and so they connect us to each other.

I have been learning from mine and trying to embrace them and have found a sense of peace in doing so.  I hope you all do the same.

To find our more about my AMAZING life coach, please visit readingswithnancy.com

My brilliant friend posted this comment:

“I’ve come to realize that the pursuit of perfection is a coping skill in and of itself…if I spend time trying to fix everything, organize everything, schedule everything, plan everything, control what others think of me, etc…I don’t have to look too closely at what is really bothering me.”

I never thought about the pursuit of perfection being a coping skill but I think she’s on to something!  Seeking perfectionism accomplishes two things.  One, it distracts us from the need to look inward and, two, it distracts others from looking too closely.  If everything is “perfect” we fool ourselves, and others, into thinking that we’re emotionally OK.  Too bad this seldom works long term because seeking perfectionism sets us up to fail…perfectly.