I’m still thinking about that video.  It was so hard to see what I looked like the first time I watched it…it’s still hard to watch.  You see, I have severe mirror and body avoidance so, when I look in the mirror, it is rarely for long and rarely full length.  So, I don’t really SEE myself but, when it’s reflected back in a video, there is no denying the truth.  Of course, I didn’t like what I saw and was disappointed that I’m not thinner.  But, I’m going to own my weight and face the reality.  Maybe if I own it, the reality will be easier to accept and I won’t spend so much energy avoiding it.