When I was in the throes of a binge, obtaining food was extremely important and, sometimes, very strategic.  Normally, I was embarrassed about the amount of food I was purchasing.  I even went so far as to mention to the cashier that the food was for two or bought two drinks to make it seem like another person was partaking in the food I was buying.  It was even worse when I had seen a particular cashier before because I didn’t want to engage or acknowledge them since I just knew they could see the binge intention in my eyes along with the shame that accompanied it.

Although I haven’t bought like this in a while, I still experience the feelings of shame and embarrassment when I’m buying food in normal amounts.  Just this morning, I made sure to avoid ordering a bagel from the cashier that helped me last week.  I guess old habits die hard.