My VERY wise friend says that, when someone says something critical, they aren’t criticizing the person but the action.  Our first inclination in these situations is to personalize the criticism and make it about the person but it’s really not about that.  There are so many reasons why people criticize and most of them have nothing to do with the one being criticized.  It goes back to having a strong sense of self-worth to minimize the effect of the criticism. Too bad it’s not so easy to remember in the heat of the moment.