Happy Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful moms out there either by blood or circumstance!

A special thanks to my mom who staged the intervention that saved me from my Binge-Eating Disorder.  It hasn’t been an easy road, there have been many bumps, twists and turns but also smooth and happy trails.  I couldn’t have undergone this transformation without my mom’s unconditional love and undying support and for I am eternally grateful for her.

Thank you, Mom, for who you are and how you love and support me.  I love you.

And The Oscar Goes To….

…Michelle Wilson!

I was an amazing actress throughout my eating disorder because no one knew how much I was suffering inside and just how tortured I was.  I’m sure that, at the height of my disorder just before “The Intervention”, people close to me knew something wasn’t quite right because my suffering was manifesting itself as extra weight.  I think most just thought I had a diet and exercise or will power problem instead of a mental illness.

If your loved ones or friends are pulling away from you, take notice.  It depends on your relationship with the person but it may be worth it to GENTLY offer some type of lifeline that will show you care but not push them away.  Here’s an important hint:  don’t talk about the weight!  It could be as simple as providing them a “safe place” where they can be themselves and know they are loved unconditionally.  If you suspect something is wrong, it probably is.  Get professional advice and guidance if you’re unsure of what to do.  You and your loved one will be glad you did.

Are you in this situation and need some advice?  I’m happy to help, please contact me here.

Divine Symptoms

I believe that eating disorder symptoms and triggers are telling a story that needs to be understood, embraced and enjoyed because there is a deeper meaning in them just waiting to be discovered. That seems a little oxymoronic…how can we enjoy or appreciate an eating disorder? The answer is that the recovery from and ensuing transformation that an eating disorder provokes can help uncover one’s soul’s purpose, identify underlying emotions that aren’t being acknowledged, unearth past traumas to be processed or prompt a closer look at how one is living their life. In my case, I found my soul’s purpose, learned how to identify and deal with emotions and realized that aspects of my life had to change in order for me to become physically and emotionally healthy.  I guess I would say that I’m happy about my eating disorder but only because it’s led me to where I am today despite the torture and pain I endured.  There’s good and bad to everything, right?  Right.

Angry Birds

I have anger issues.  I’m not embarrassed to admit it but I have been ashamed of my behavior at times when I’ve reacted to a situation out of anger.  I’ve been working on trying to release my anger and I think the work may be paying off!  I had a situation yesterday that, a few months ago, would have gotten me so angry that I would have given someone a major attitude about it.  When this situation presented itself, I felt myself getting annoyed and angry but was able to recognize it and pull it back into a more constructive emotion.  Because, really, in the scheme of things does the unexpected Directv guy’s visit really warrant anger and the energy it takes to be angry?  I don’t think so although if you saw the movie, The Cable Guy, you may beg to differ!  🙂

Transitions

I’m going through yet another transition in my life from working full-time at an office to working full-time from home.  During these times of transition, I’ve noticed a pattern with my food habits and become confused about food.  Yes, I know I have been eating for 41 years now and I know, intellectually, what nutritious meals consist of but I just can’t get it together during times of change!  Eventually I will create a routine that works but this floundering is for the birds…

Event #2

Back in January I blogged about an event I went to where people I hadn’t seen in many years attended and which caused me great anxiety.  The good news is I survived and the even better news is that I have a similar event today about which I have very little anxiety.  In thinking about why my anxiety has decreased, I’ve come up with 2 reasons.  One is that I endured the first event which went better than expected.  The second is that my revelation that “I’m The Only One” who needs to approve of myself eliminated some of the thoughts about what others will think of my weight.  I’m not gonna lie…I have a little anxiety and have thoughts about what others will think but they don’t hold as much weight (pardon the pun!) as before thereby diminishing their importance.  Maybe, just maybe, I can see my way to a healthier body image and self-esteem someday soon.

I’m sorry that I missed posting over the last few days.  I continued to have technical issues with my website that are resolved and I look forward to being back daily.  If you like what you’re reading, please share with your friends and subscribe to get new posts sent directly to your email!

Sick-O

I have been feeling under the weather this week with a bad cold and have felt the urge to binge.  I think it has something to do with the need for comfort while ill.  I’ve avoided the temptation because who really wants to binge with a sick person’s appetite?  Another lesson learned though and will add being sick to my list of triggers.